I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
