it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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