By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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