oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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