Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
NoShamevember. You game?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
