she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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