That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
