Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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