I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
