Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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