happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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