i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
