she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
