Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize