I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
