Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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