I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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