More tranny stories later!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
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I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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