Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
