Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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