He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The air was thick with penises
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
