Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
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Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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