i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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