dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
