I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I believe in your delicious
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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