Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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