i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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