I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
PANTIES FOUND
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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