Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
