Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
