I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
