What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so explain again why im purple
no
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
