whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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