Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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