im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
