Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize