theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
