"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
