they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
