I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
