Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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