I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
