Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
