It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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