this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Randomize
