i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
