she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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