They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
