just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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