I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize