I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
