I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
