my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
