did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
