so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Randomize
