he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My dick has a subreddit
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
