My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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