You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
